octopi don't even have feet

okcgoldmine:

in case anyone hasn’t seen today’s cyanide and happiness comic strip

(via sandsibilings)

(5 days ago)

13,402 notes

Anonymous asked: 7, 12

7) Weirdest thing to ever make you horny: Lemon Porn

12) We were about to ____________ but then ______________: have sex, my roommate and her boyfriend came into the room and decided to take THREE HOURS TO SET UP ALL THE APPLE JUICE IN A PYRAMID AOGIJWIEPGEJWPG

(5 days ago)

tommilsom:

theroachsalad:

saraunderthesea:

mothercheesus:

press play and watch the gif.

just trust me.

IF TUMBLR HAD A HIGHLIGHT REEL THIS WOULD BE IN IT

It’s on my dash again
i missed it

aaaaahahahahahahahaha yay

(via 12818-tomhanks)

(5 days ago)

306,443 notes

In honor of masturbation month....

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?
2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:
3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:
4: Something that never fails to make you horny:
5: Where is one place you would never have sex:
6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ______________
7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:
8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone:
9: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:
10: What is the fastest way to make you horny:
11: Top or bottom?
12: We were about to ____________ but then ______________
13: Would you ever take a sexual enhancement drug?
14: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?
15: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:
16: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:
17: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:
18: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:
19: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]
20: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:
21: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?
22: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:
23: How big is too big (peniswise):
24: One sexual thing you would never do:
25: Biggest turn on:
26: Three spots that drive you insane:
27: Worst possible time to get horny:
28: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:
29: Worst sexual idea you ever had:
30: How much fapping is too much fapping:
31: Best sexual complement you ever got:
32: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:
33: Is it good sex if you don’t nut:
34: Fill in the blanks: "If they ____________, we are fuckin"
35: What your favorite part of your body:
36: Favorite foreplay activities:
37: Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math thats “greater than, less than, or equal to]
38: What do you wear to bed?
39: When was the first time you masturbated:
40: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?
41: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?
42: Have/would you ever have sex outside?
43: Have/would you ever had a threesome?
44: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?
45: Have/would you ever masturbate at work?
46: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?
47: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?
48: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?
49: Most attractive celebrity?
50: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?
51: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now
52: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?
53: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?
54: Do you have stretch marks?
55: How do you feel about your stretch marks?
56: Has anyone ever had a problem with your stretch marks?
57: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)
58: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?
59: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?
60: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?
61: Is there anything you do on tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?
62: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)
63: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?
64: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?
65: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?
66: Do you watch porn?
67: How small is too small?
68: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?
69: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?
70: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?
71: Do you feel comfortable going "commando"?
72: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn't shaved their pubic hair?
73: If you could give yourself head, would you?
74: Booty or Boobs?
75: If you had a penis, what would you name it?
76: Have you ever been on an official date?
77: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)
78: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?
79: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)
80: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?
81: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina
this seems fun

(5 days ago)

296,108 notes

In honor of masturbation month....

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?
2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:
3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:
4: Something that never fails to make you horny:
5: Where is one place you would never have sex:
6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ______________
7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:
8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone:
9: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:
10: What is the fastest way to make you horny:
11: Top or bottom?
12: We were about to ____________ but then ______________
13: Would you ever take a sexual enhancement drug?
14: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?
15: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:
16: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:
17: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:
18: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:
19: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]
20: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:
21: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?
22: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:
23: How big is too big (peniswise):
24: One sexual thing you would never do:
25: Biggest turn on:
26: Three spots that drive you insane:
27: Worst possible time to get horny:
28: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:
29: Worst sexual idea you ever had:
30: How much fapping is too much fapping:
31: Best sexual complement you ever got:
32: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:
33: Is it good sex if you don’t nut:
34: Fill in the blanks: "If they ____________, we are fuckin"
35: What your favorite part of your body:
36: Favorite foreplay activities:
37: Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math thats “greater than, less than, or equal to]
38: What do you wear to bed?
39: When was the first time you masturbated:
40: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?
41: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?
42: Have/would you ever have sex outside?
43: Have/would you ever had a threesome?
44: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?
45: Have/would you ever masturbate at work?
46: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?
47: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?
48: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?
49: Most attractive celebrity?
50: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?
51: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now
52: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?
53: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?
54: Do you have stretch marks?
55: How do you feel about your stretch marks?
56: Has anyone ever had a problem with your stretch marks?
57: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)
58: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?
59: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?
60: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?
61: Is there anything you do on tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?
62: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)
63: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?
64: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?
65: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?
66: Do you watch porn?
67: How small is too small?
68: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?
69: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?
70: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?
71: Do you feel comfortable going "commando"?
72: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn't shaved their pubic hair?
73: If you could give yourself head, would you?
74: Booty or Boobs?
75: If you had a penis, what would you name it?
76: Have you ever been on an official date?
77: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)
78: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?
79: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)
80: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?
81: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina
this seems fun

(5 days ago)

296,108 notes

This is me!!

(Source: crinierebouclee, via super-d)

(1 week ago)

3,517 notes

arctic-mcpenguin:

Congratulations to Minnesota for passing same-sex marriage in the House and Senate this week. Governor Dayton will sign the law later, and make same-sex marriages legal starting August 1st. Marriage equality for everybody!

(via callmeocculted)

(1 week ago)

23,722 notes

bemusedlybespectacled:

if you ever think mythology is boring or serious business or whatever shit

just remember that cerberus, the hell-hound and guard dog of the underworld, comes from the root indo-european word ḱerberos, which evolved into the greek word kerberos, which got changed to cerberus when it went from greek to latin

ḱerberos means “spotted”

that’s right

hades, lord of the dead, literally fucking named his pet dog spot

(via callmeocculted)

(1 week ago)

115,747 notes

nursejackie89:

psychocereals:

paintvrlife:

by ryky

whoa

u kow what they say about eyes

(via imitationpops)

(1 week ago)

36,967 notes

psdo:

ironelk:

Today my art history professor gave some words of wisdom:

Nude is when your clothes are off. Naked is when your clothes are off and you’re up to something

A+

(via octolife)

(1 week ago)

37,266 notes